Last week, Thursday, I went walking about on my lunch hour, looking for something specific: an altar box. A certain sized and configured box that would hold all I had that was for my altar, and that would serve as my altar during my daily prayers. I had a vision in my mind of what I was looking for, but not a lot of cash to purchase one.
As I walked around, checking into a couple of close-by second-hand stores, I found nothing. Then I headed out to the third thrift store. As I was walking there, my amulet seemed heavy on my neck. I chuckled and thought, "Oh, Cerridwen, you are reminding me that I haven't been saying my mantra today." So, I began saying my mantra. I kept that mantra going in my mind as I shopped this thrift store, and I was brought straight to a suitable box. Something that would hold all the things that have become important to me: my grandfather's quartz crystal, a box of sage for blessings and offerings, a candle, a small censer, a lighter, a small platform to burn the sage on, and my altar cloth. It also had room for my two prayer books! Wow, what a find, and only 50 cents! I was stoked! My Goddess had led me to what I needed, I was sure of it.
All last week I had been thinking about a friend, someone who I knew was a pagan. Actually, I thought she was a Wiccan, but have since discovered that she considers herself an eclectic pagan who worships Brighid. Anyway, I was not nice to her some time back over silly, petty jealousies and hurt feelings on my part. I had actually not spoken to her at all in months. I had been feeling that I needed to contact her and apologize for my behavior and ask for her guidance. I hadn't had time to do so all week, what with work and family and trying to work out my new path and find time for worship.
Friday afternoon, SHE contacted ME! She lives a couple of thousand miles away, so this was a Facebook conversation. I didn't have time at work to talk, so I told her I had questions I wanted to talk with her about, later. I got home, started getting ready to go to my friend's house (a regular Dungeons & Dragons game) and hopped on the computer to do something for a few minutes. She was on! I was surprised, and checked to see if she really was there. Yup, she was, and she was glad to talk with me. I apologized, and she said she never felt I was rude and that she had taken no offense to anything I had done. THAT was a relief!
I told her what was going on in my life, that I was working on a new path for myself. That after 30 years of searching, I had finally found that path. She suggested that maybe IT found ME! I felt such relief and joy at re-connecting with her, and knowing that Cerridwen had heard my pleas for guidance and had sent to me the one person I knew would understand, since I hadn't had the courage to contact her myself. I think I have truly found my Goddess, and I think we are going to have a long, happy relationship.
I have had a few things come up on Facebook, friends in need, that I have been adding to my morning worship. Requests for help or support or guidance from friends I haven't really had a lot of contact with in the last 20 years. But I feel that my prayers DO help. I write the prayers down, so that I can remember what I want to ask for. When I feel the prayers have had a response, I write a short prayer of thanks over the answered request, and remember to add my thanks to my morning worship, too. I feel this has been a positive action.
My daughter has been begging me to help her worship. I am so new to this, I don't honestly know what to tell her. She is struggling to find a deity to pray to, and works on researching paganism and some prayers and trying to get in the frame of mind to find what she needs. My friend suggested that she look at Pooka Pages to find stuff for kids, but she found it to have only stories, and not the information she really needed. She has been reading a bit in my prayer books, and doing online research. She joined my Sunday morning worship, and did her own worship on Monday. I look forward to making this journey with her.
In short, I can feel Cerridwen in my life, and I welcome her with an open heart. I will listen closely for her guidance and accept the help she sends my way.
May you always walk in peace, may your path be ever clear.
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